Well, another morning, another cup of coffee. It must be purely psychologimical to start your day off by dropping a hand full of cash for two cups of coffee and a day-old bagel (oh, you thought those were fresh?!?). So off we go, my wife and I, to StarChuck’s, oops, I mean Starbucks, which is really a hop, skip, and a jump away – aren’t they all? We decide to go to one that we thought would be not-so-busy but ended up being oh-so-busy! The only good thing – yes, only – about going out for coffee is the simplicity it offers to people watch. I’m sure people are watching me, too, since I tower over my wife like Paul Bunyan and apparently dress like him, too – green plaid flannel, khaki cargo pants and a pair of well-weathered Timberlands – oh dang! Sadly, along with my version of “people watching” includes vocal banter. What’s the old saying “if you don’t have nothing nice to say – uh, say it?!?” Although, this morning I had nothing mean to say, really. Anywho, as my wife waits for her ‘specialty’ coffee, I proceeded to keep myself busy by wandering around and eventually over to the area that I dubbed the “observation deck”. It’s a level that puts you above the entire place and you can peer out and watch all the goings-on of society. Well, joining me is this man, whom I have no idea is, and as he looked in the opposite direction and then back at me I guess he was expecting to see his lady friend. Surprise, homie!!


StarChuck Homie: –silent—

Boris (me): “What’s up!?!”

StarChuck Homie: “Uh, hello?”

Boris: “So how do you like the view from the observation deck?”

StarChuck Homie: “Uh, yeah, good one, it does look like that.” (not sounding convincing)

Uncomfortable silence then sets in – well, only for a moment, because I can’t keep quiet!

Boris in vocal rhetorical as he looks around: “Hmmm, I wonder if they’re all automatons?”

Silence ends the conversation.

Apparently the coffee has yet to set in for StarChuck Homie. Hey, Boris thought it was funny. Dah.


Uppity Peet’s

November 10, 2009

So this morning my wife and I decide to go and grab a cup of coffee before she heads to the office and I back to mine. After a brief back-and-forth as to where to go, we head to the “uppity” side of Santa Monica and hit the Peet’s on 14th and Montana. Now there’s two types of people that you’ll run in to at that shop – those who apparently don’t have to work and have cash to drop daily on overpriced “she-she” cups of coffee and then there are those middle-aged and above “Chucks”, (short for Chuckle Head) decked out in their Good-Lawd-Never-Wear-Spandex Tour de Suckaz cycling gear, hobbling around in their click-in shoes and mobbin’ all the tables! This really comes as no surprise, seeing that they’re constantly in the way while riding on the streets – why should it be any different when they’re elsewhere?!? Oh, don’t get me started. Anywho, the whole purpose of this mindless banter is to relay the brief conversation that took place behind us while waiting in line to spend $10 bucks on two coffees and a sugar roll!
Middle-Aged Chuck: “Hey, you still riding?”

Out of curiosity I turned around to see who he was asking. Now what makes this whole conversation outstanding is that M.A.C. is asking his buddy whom obviously has been riding under the radar as of late –  and the kicker is A.M.A.C. is fully decked out in, yep, you guessed it right,  Good-Lawd-Never-Wear-Spandex Tour de Suckaz cycling gear!! Rich, simply rich.  Shaking my head, I then proceeded to whisper in my wife’s ear the response that should’ve been given:
Above Middle-Aged Chuck: “No. I just woke up, stayed in my pajamas and came to grab ….You DipStick!”
Really?!? No, Really!!!??!  Did you just ask that question? No wonder they all group together and cause pointless traffic jams and then get upset when cars go driving by honking their horns and given them the Stink Eye – they have NO COMMON SENSE!

Who knew getting a cup of coffee would offer so much adventure?!?